Still Rising Nepal

Nothing is more symbolic of the Still Rising Nepal than the ongoing view tower construction spree. It is concrete proof that Nepal stands tall, and is destined for a future of ever-bigger erectile dysfunctions.

This April Fool's Day, patriotic Nepalis should leave no brick unturned in support of our national edifice complex.

However, at this rate we may soon run out of peaks to put towers on, so we must strive for more creative new erections:

Sagarmatha View Tower

In order to maintain the supremacy of Mt Everest, it is in Nepal’s strategic interest to build a 50m view tower with revolting restaurant on the summit, so visitors get a panoramic view from 8896.84m. For easy access, there will be a cable car up the Khumbu Icefall, an escalator from the Wesern Cwm to the South Col, and easy stone steps up the SE Ridge to the top. Descent will be via zipline. This project will be financed with a loan from China’s ExIm Bank.

The Oli Folly 

Why should only the old Dhararara be known internationally as Bhimsen’s Folly? The fatter tower inaugurated by Prime Minister Oli in 2020 shall henceforth be named after him. As it sways, the structure will also serve as an early warning of impending earthquakes.

Republican Tower

One sure sign that Nepal is rising from the asses is the Republican Tower under construction in Thankot since 2008. This architectural marvel is deliberately made to look like a nuclear-tipped ICBM on the launch pad, so as to fool enemy spy satellites.

Pillar of the Constitution

For the uninitiated this may look like the BICC water tower, but it is actually the thinly disguised Constitution Pillar (also known as Pushpa 'Column' Dahal). The monument is purposely made to look like a phallus so that Nepal’s secular politicians get divine blessings during upcoming elections.

Federalism Obelisk

Many of you may be wondering what that steel structure coming up in Kamaladi is. It can finally be revealed that it is the Federalism Obelisk-cum-Amusement Park to remind us that Nepal is a Fun-filled Secular Democratic Republic.

Read also: 7 ways to save Nepal, Ass