As a newspaper of world records, we tell the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth. However, reporters are also human, and we sometimes knowingly tweak the truth. And when we do, our strict Media Code of Ethics requires us to lie low and hope no one noticed. Just kidding. Actually, we issue a clarification to say that we were right to get it wrong.
Be it a tiny typo, a glaring grammatical gaffe, a huge factual blunder, or an alternative truth, the important thing is to alert innocent bystanders about howlers and learn from our mistakes so that we can make even bigger ones in future. Before we are hoisted by our own petard, some critical self-examination is called for. If caught with our pants down, we rectify our erratum with a corrigendum. It is SOP in our profession to issue corrections like these:
• We apologise to Comrade Madhav Kumar Nepal for triggering a major international incident with our bold headline on the Sports Page yesterday: ‘India Mauls Nepal’. The reportage pertained to the table tennis finals of the ongoing 13th SAG. In no way did we imply that Comrade Nepal was seriously injured by Injuns during his ongoing pingpong diplomacy over Kalapani.
• Due to a bitter argument in the newsroom, the prime minister was incorrectly identified in yesterday’s Editorial as Pushpa Kamal Oli. The present premier is in fact the Right Honourable KP Dahal. We apologise to both prime ministers for the faux pas.
• A caption in the Entertainment Section misidentified the revolving restaurant near the airport as the Revolting Restaurant & Bar. It is in fact the Revolutionary Party Palace run by the ANNUS(R). The terror is regretted.
• A Page 1 report by Chicken Little datelined Madrid about COP25 gave the erroneous impression that the world is ending. We are happy to report that the world is still very much around, according to a higher up authority. “We’ll let you know if and when we decide to terminate the world,” The Almighty said in a statement, read out by a heavenly spokesperson. Sorry about the boo-boo.
• Comrade Laldhoj of the Socialite Party has informed us that a news item in yesterday’s edition announcing the launch of a nationwide agitation was a huge mistake. The party shouldn’t have done it.
• A small typo crept into an article last Friday about Kathmandu being developed as an International Humour Centre. Heh-heh. Sorry about that hilarious goofup. In actual fact, the city is turning into an International Tumour Centre.
• Due to a fact-checking slipup, an Obituary yesterday announcing the death of Mr Mark Twain was exaggerated. Air pollution in Kathmandu had actually made Mr Twain feel only half-dead.