Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
Mau Mau land

ASS


Quite a sight to see those who were kicking baddie asses till two weeks ago now licking them at various gostis around town. There was a near stampede at the Pistachio Palace the other day as farang dignitaries and crony capitalists raced each other to the Oval Orifice. Good thing the Ass got there before the crowd to present his bouquet of gladioli to El Presidente himself.

The Mau Mau victory in Nepal didn't just prove wrong pundits, prophets, astrologers, intelligence services, and other assorted asses but it got the neighbourhood superpowers both wondering what hit them.

The Indians put on a brave face. But the Chinese are still worked up because it hasn't gone according to the script. Hey, Pasang, Mao said you are supposed to win power by the barrel of the gun, not through elections. What kind of message will this send to ex-Red Guards in the mainland? Not since the Mallus became the first commies to sweep elections in Kerala has the world seen something as amazing as this.

...

The Americans for their part are still trying to figure out if it is Tibet or Nepal that wants independence from China. National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley told George Stephanapoulos on ABC News on Sunday night that the human rights violations against monks in Nepal would not deter President Bush from attending the Olympics opening ceremony in Beijing in August. Nepalis, he added, had the right to self-determination and Beijing should respect that. Five times Hadley said 'Nepal' instead of 'Tibet' and Georgie Boy didn't bat either eyelid. Could it be he didn't know the diff either, or was he letting Hadley hang himself? At least 'Eye-raq' and 'Eye-ran' both rhyme begin with 'I'. But Nepal and Tibet?

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Speaking of autonomous regions, it looks like the Chinese Embassy takes a very dim view of French and German MPs using the ruse of election observation in Nepal to attend Free Tibet meetings at Boudha. They have taken umbrage at Yvon Colin, French upper house rep and cheerleader of the Community of Tibetans in France, unfurling the Free Tibet flag in Kathmandu. In fact, the Chinese ambassador went to Baluwatar to protest to the prime minister himself, but the old man was so distracted with elections he only gave him half a ear. Well, the Ass' take on it is if there is any pro-Tibetan activity the French want to carry out, they should do it from New Caledonia and not Nepal. Besides, where were these Europeans when 100,000 Bhutanis were evicted from Bhutan? How come the MPs didn't visit them in Jhapa?

Either way, the next few weeks look certain to be exciting as the Olympic Torture makes it up Mt Everest only to find Tibetan banners made it up ahead of them.

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The Maoistas are now such free market promoters of globalisation that they are soon going to allow what even our neo-liberal regimes in the early 1990s hadn't permitted: let McDonalds and Pizz Hut open up franchises here. That would have been tolerable, but why let in Burger King? Doesn't that go against our politically correct republicanism?

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That reminds me, what does Kingji know that we don't? Is he about to pull a rabbit from his crown? At a family gathering this week, the Ass learns, the man looked unflappable as ever. Is he about to spill the beans on a secret deal made on 23 April, 2006?

By the way, if Naryanhiti is going to be turned into a museum with artifacts from Nepal's history on display why not have a separate section with a living exhibit of the last king of the Shah dynasty in person in his office, reading the papers, surfing the net, meeting hangers-on and going about his daily business?

ass(at)nepalitimes.com



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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