Thinking big

Nepal may be a small country, but we don’t have small minds. We dream big, mainly because our rulers are day-dreaming a lot. These are vivid hallucinations and extraordinary nightmares which they immediately take to the implementation stage upon waking up.

Now that he has met Trump, PM Oli has no time for piddly little things like completing the Melamchi project, fixing the Jorpati-Baudha Swamp, tarmacking the Wring Road at Balkhu, or picking up the garbage in Lagankhel. He is focused on much larger things.

Being a country with vibrant crony-Communism, Nepal is poised to take The Greatest Leap Forward So Far into the wild blue yonder with projects Kneejgad International Aeropolis, the Republican Tower, the Trans-Himalayan Bullet Train, East-West MALEV Railway, and the mammoth Gezhouba Dam. The gobblement has decided that Big Is Not Just Beautiful, But Also Rewarding in More Ways Then One.

Which is why we do not need any more distractions about Pappu Deconstruction Private Limited not completing the bridge at Tin Kune despite being given an advance of 54 corrodes and 82 lacks. Or, of Lama Erections GMbH not repairing the Nagarkot road for five years. State secret: it is a deliberate government strategy to make Nepal known the world over as challenging proving ground for off-road vehicles and hovercrafts.

Being a visionary, the PM gave the Nepal Shipping Corporation the target of sailing a Nepali vessel to Kolkata and back by December. With only two months to go, the Corporation has issued a global tender for a paddle boat.

Nepal has also announced plans to send senior comrades from the ruling Communist Party to Mars to plant the hammer and sickle there. Since it is called The Red Planet.