#SAG2019 --> #VNY2020

Even the most cynical among us will have to grudgingly give credit to the organisers of #SAG2019 for having pulled off a major event in Kathmandu without a hitch, and shown the way for #VNY2020. Timing the games in the dead of winter when Nepali teams had an edge because we were acclimatised to the cold, pollution and altitude was a masterstroke. If SAG went so well, Visit Nepal 2020 will be a picnic.

Folks at the Ministry of Tourism and Sadism can now sit back and twiddle their collective thumbs because Nepal has hit the target for #VNY2020 ahead of schedule. Two million Indian tourists have already visited Nepal in just one week during the Gadimai Mela earlier this month. In fact, if you count the number of water buffaloes, goats and other feathered friends that also entered Nepal, we exceeded the target by another million or so visitors. What’s more, many of these inbound pax never went back, which means the average duration of stay of tourists also shot up.

The organisers of SAG2019 spent a lot of money on the Black Buck mascot and designing mnemonics for every game. It would be a waste of resources to abandon the cute antelopes now that the games are over. How about now recycling them to promote Visit Nepal 2020? They would nicely complement the squatting Yeti defecating openly at major landmarks.

Not that anyone asks the Ass for advice these days, but I offer below some ideas about upcycling the Black Buck mascot for Nepal’s tourism promotion in 2020:

Magic Carpet

Visit Nepal using these devices and be instantaneously transported into a fantasy world where everything is not what it feels and smells like in reality.

Bicycle Lanes

Kathmandu now has bicycle lanes that are also used by motorcycles and buses. BTW, how exactly does the Black Buck’s tail protrude from its shorts? Just asking.

Gun Control

Nepal is a weapons free zone. We have no pistols and no bullets, so tourists must bring their own guns and ammunition.

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Martial Arts

Nepalis excel in contact sports, and if you are lucky, your stay can coincide with a wrestling match inside Parliament. Ask for tickets to the visitors’ gallery.

Media Scrum

Nepal Police have learnt from HK Police to discipline rioting reporters: dispatch them to hospital with serious head injuries. Tourists seeking thrills can avail of such treatment during VNY2020.

Monsoon Tourism

Visit Nepal during the monsoon, and enjoy the puddles specially constructed on Kathmandu’s roads for VNY2020.

Nepal’s Defence

Nepalis will defend their territory tooth and nail. But since we have run out of guns and ammo, we will use bows and arrows to wrest back control of Limpiyadhura.

The Ass

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