If The Ass was the Prime Minister he would also be bored with seeing the same old people around the table every week, and would order an immediate Cabinet Reshuffle. Even though, as far as we know he is not The Ass, the PM is hoping to do the Shuffle soon.
“In order to face changes, I have to change faces,” he was overheard telling top aides at Balu Water this week. The rumour of an impending cabinet reshuffle was swiftly and vigorously denied by the Minister of Alterantive Facts, which means that they are probably accurate.
The question is which heads are going to roll, whose heads are going to be buried in the sand, and where some heads are going to be transplanted. Bargaining is intense. The Primeval Minister would like to give Drinking Water Minister Bina the sack but Daddy-in-Law warned Oli before leaving for the States that if he did that Underfinanced Minister Khatiwada would have to go, too.
Oli would also like to kick out Infrastructure Minister Mahaset, but the man’s bro-in-law happens to be a major mover, shaker and party funder (in that order). The Right Hon’ble PM thinks the Minister of Informatics has done a great job with the Digital Insecurity Act and wants to reward him with the vacant portfolio in the Ministry of Culture Shock and Tourism.
There is also a possibility that CK Raut’s Referendum Party will join the grabberment to counter the opposition’s calls for referenda. Kamal Thapa of the Royal Revival Party (RRP) and Shashank (“Redemption”) Koirala are clamouring for a referendum on Hinduism.
The Oligarchy plans to tame boat rockers by making them ministers, but since there are not enough portfolios to go around, the Ministry for Industry, Commercialism and Over-Supply will have to be spun off into three different ministries.
The Minister for Justification, Miscommunication and Disinformation will now have a strategic partnership with the Defensive Ministry and gather useful gossip from the Directorate of Military Intelligentsia.
The Ministry of Irritation, Population, Family Planning and Adultery will be combined with the Ministry of Infrastructure, Physical Therapy and No Works to form a Super-duper Ministry.
The Ministry of Foreigner Affairs will be merged with the Home Ministry and will decide if hubbies are Biharis marrying Nepali women to become citizens of this proud nation of ours.
For the time being, the Prime Minister will keep ministries like Water Resources and Damn Building as well as the Ministry of Ministers without Portfolios.
The Ministry of Horsing Around has formed a 108-member Steering Committee to organise this year’s Ghode Jatra which, in the interest of the government’s general policy of austerity and belt-tightening, will be combined with Gai Jatra.