Nepal is not so bad

Haven’t you had enough yet of complaining about how bad things are in Nepal? Are you naysayers waiting for things to get worse so you can moan and groan some more?

Sorry, but let’s face it, it is not original any more to grumble about muddy roads, dusty air, smelly water and a rotten airport. It is healthier to have a positive mental attitude, and look at the brighter side, see the silver lining, and quaff down the G&T so the glass is half full. The grass may be greener on the other side, but our grass gives a better high. So, stop whining and dining already. If you don’t like it in Nepal, leave. Go back to where you came from. Bye. Wait, take me with you.

If you are dissatisfied here, and think Nepal is not corrupt enough, our gobarment could be more incompetent, the police are not racist even when provoked, or that our immigration lines could be longer, then why didn’t you stay in your own shithole country?

You have problems with our Right Honourable Prime Minister saying Kathmandu is not polluted? Well, at least he does not think climate change is a hoax. None of our leaders have grabbed any pussies of late, at least not that I know of. Our leaders may be a lot of things, but none of them was fired earlier in their careers for making up a quote. You think the next in line to be our country’s leader should not have met a foreign intelligence operative last week?

Also, when it comes to personal scandals Nepal’s leaders are (ahem) under-performing. Yes, our Minister of Vermiculture once groped women live on nationwide NTV during the paddy planting festival, a leader of stature is known to indulge in late-night Skype sex.

But, really, the most disgusting thing our politicians have ever done in public is Comrade Awesome picking his nose during a book launch.

Did I hear someone complain that Nepal is politically unstable and has frequent changes of government? Australia has had 7 prime ministers in the last 10 years. Nepal could only muster 5. Yes, our Parliament did descend into chaos once when a bored lawmaker threw a speakerphone at the Speaker just to keep awake.

But we are way behind the times compared to the Ukrainian legislature which recently broke into hand-to-hand combat. Or the Japanese Diet where MPs punched each other in their noses while debating the country’s post-war pacifist constitution.

You have problems with the quality of life in Kathmandu? Get a posting in Khartoum. You think Kathmandu pollution is bad? You think we cheat in our vehicle emission tests by bribing the inspector?

Thank you, Volkswagen for showing us how it is really done.