Marxists-cum-Leninists

If there is one thing we cannot fault the ruling Communist Party for, it is thinking small. ‘Big is beautiful’ is the slogan, and the comrades toe the party line, insisting that size matters.

And thank the Engels in heaven for that because otherwise Nepal would still be wallowing with water buffaloes. All hail to the Glorious Party led by the Dear Helmsperson because of whose foresight we can now dream of graduating from makers of potatochips to microchips. Nepal has shown the world that it has the audacity to take giant strides in the conservation of the endangered Asiatic White Elephant.

During the first tenure in office of Messrs CPN-UML (Pvt Ltd) in the mid-nineties, which some of you may remember was in the last century, it was the Right Honourable Makuney who led a coalition of Marxists-cum-Leninists and promised stability and prosperity.

He was removed in a no-confidence vote nine months later, but not before presenting his roadmap to prosperity: Nepal would get rich by exporting electricity to China “via satellite”.

It is that kind of vision for the future that has allowed Nepal to take a Big Leap Forward towards being a Federal Democratic Republic of Utopia. Prime Minister Oli in a rousing speech before departing for his China visit last week said Nepal could balance its trade deficit by planting trees and “exporting oxygen”. He had obviously got a solid briefing from his advisers on carbon trading. He also had the idea of arresting Nepal’s falling birthrate: stop eating imported fish that contain impotence-causing formalin.

The Minister of Communism and Information has also tried to keep up with the wisdom of his higher-up authority when he demonstrated his smarts by boasting on live national tv that he was in possession of a “Samsung i-Phone”.

Nepal’s deft diplomacy with the southern neighbour has also yielded immediate results. India has agreed to allow three new two-way air routes, although one of them in Mahendranagar is only for kites and low-flying drones. Things are also moving ahead literally at breakneck speed on the Arun III project, so much so that some tunnel workers this week nearly broke their necks in a rockfall.

India also gifted millions of tons of its territory to Nepal last weekend, transporting it by air and delivering it directly to farms across Nepal. The economic value of replenishing Nepal’s topsoil is incalculable and compensates for all land we have lost to self-moving border pillars. Stay tuned.