We keep hearing that a woman’s life is incomplete without bringing a new life into this world, but if you do not know the reason behind their decision, it is insensitive to keep poking them about the baby.
With more and women taking up a professional path and focusing on careers, there has been a worldwide trend of delaying marriage, including in Nepal, but some members of society deem it shallow.
As we delay marriages, the chances of conceiving decline significantly. Many women over 35 struggle with fertility, and treatments can be costly without the guarantee of success.
Can you imagine being asked why you do not have a child if you have been trying unsuccessfully for years? No one feels comfortable sharing such personal struggles, and interrogating them will hurt them even more.
Even women who have always wanted to become mothers do not like being asked about it all the time. It is a private matter and people (random or otherwise) have to respect that, especially when the person is only a passing acquaintance.
Another friend of mine, Elina, had wanted children for the longest time. She is now a mother of three and wants two more. She has help from her husband, her family, a stay-at-home babysitter and finances that make it easier.
“I tell people I want two more, and they say it is too much, that I shouldn’t have any more babies. You can never make those people happy,” laughs Elina.
A woman should become a mother only when she is ready. It is a big responsibility, and that of a lifetime – not a decision you take lightly and can go back on.
Being a mother is an ultimate act of selflessness, someone else will be depending on you entirely, and you will have to put your needs aside for their well-being. Children are ever learning and absorbing information around them, so it is essential to also become a good model for them.
Shraddha is a wonderful mother to a toddler and told me that only those with a personal investment should be allowed to ask such private questions: “I used to ask them, how much money would you like to transfer to my baby’s account if I have one,” she says.
Of course, Shraddha was not serious, but it was effective, her relatives backed off. No one offered to deposit money either.
I am also happy to send my bank details to anyone wanting to ask me the same question.
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