Driving each other nuts

Nepali Times #188 19-25 March 2004

Kathmandu’s streets are busier than ever before with nearly 2 million vehicles, 1.5 of them just two wheelers. This has worsened air pollution, roads have become a public hazard, while highway accidents are a major killer of young Nepalis. Following is an excerpt from a spoof traffic Q&A in the satire column Under My Hat published 20 years ago this week on #188 19-25 March 2004. Enjoy:

Q: On which side of the road does one drive in Nepal?

A: Those of you who thought that in Nepal we drive on the left side of the road are wrong. That rule has just been changed, and all motorcycles are henceforth required to drive on the right side (which used to be the wrong side) of the street at all times and weave suicidally in and out dodging oncoming trucks and buses. The left side of the road will now only be used to park bricks, cement, steel rods and other construction material.

Q: What is the latest on helmets and visors?

A: As we go to press at 1900 hrs GMT on Thursday, you are not required to wear a helmet if you have a visor on. The pillion rider must have a helmet prominently displayed, but not necessarily on the head.

Q: What are the rules on overtaking?

A: We never overtake in Nepal, we always takeover. It is a part of our glorious culture to be territorial about a 10m radius of asphalt around us on the street, and woe betide anyone who deigns to trespass this space.

Q: Besides chickens, are there any other things crossing the road that we need to watch out for?

A: Buffalos, goats, ducks and other livestock have right of way and can cross the road at any time anywhere and without warning. It is up to the driver behind the wheel to use telepathy to figure out what their intentions are. Dogs, on the other hand, don’t cross the road but will race you while barking their heads off. Don’t worry about them, unless they are wearing visors.

For archived material of Nepali Times of the past 20 years, site search: nepalitimes.com